So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize