If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
