It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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