Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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