bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
