are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
