i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
