Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
