All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
