I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
