I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
