I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
