I want to have your abortion
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the condom got lost in my hair
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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