i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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