Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
