no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
