the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
