anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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