It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
