she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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