considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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