dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
