a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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