i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
