I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
