I wannas sexs uuuuu
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
