Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
