So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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