i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
