i permit you to call me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
