i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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