You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
