Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
