i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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