I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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