I seem to have left my pride at pride
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
