Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
