i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
its liver damage thursday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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