I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
