; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
