So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
