this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
