We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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