There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
