Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
