Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
