Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
