And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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