his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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