I got chris browned last night
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
